So it is nearing the end of 2017. Usually to me the transition between years makes no difference to me. This time, it is different. So much has happened for me in 2017 that is good and bad but either way has allowed me to gain understanding, confidence and enabled me to actively promote my wellbeing – 2017 has transformed my life. Everything that has happened has played its part for a reason, and I finally think I understand and feel capable to self care and self manage my health and wellbeing.
Tonight, as the last day of the year, my family are out bowling and celebrating the New Year. Mother and I have been busy all day and together we supported my step-nan through the final hours of her end of life care in the nursing home. I came home and realized just how physically and emotionally exhausted I was… I wanted to rest but struggled to admit it. I What was significant was that I was able to reflect on the year and say ‘actually, I can’t join you tonight – I need some rest.’ That statement is horrible to say as I always want to join in however I am so proud that I stuck with it. Today’s achievement means a lot, I am leaving 2017 knowing that I am capable of recognizing my limits and altering my activities. My whole life operates through pacing but it can be tough as often my mind wants to do more and I have to accept I can’t do everything and I must prioritise.
It’s the first time I have felt that I care enough about my body to value it and respect it, it means I can go into 2018 on a blank slate and not in recovery mode. I know I am not superwoman but that is ok – I would rather reduce my activities so that I have time to focus on the aspects that matter to me.
Via My Minds Eye 
Good idea I like that.
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