People create a online social identity of the person they want to portray to the world, an identity that can convey whatever meaning they wish. There are pros and cons to this across many different aspects and I certainly have experienced both. Today it is the positives.

Over the last few weeks it has become more apparent to me that alongside many others, those close to me in the ‘expert patient,’ ‘patient leader,’ ‘advisor’ roles use this far more than people realise.  There are times when we strive to do everything we can to promote patient voice because we are so passionate at reaching out and making a difference. Those stories are the ones we tell, the stories that explain our achievements and often ‘conveniently’ forget a large proportion of the negatives. We may not always acknowledge the challenge nor the wider holistic issues that are continuing around us.

I try to convey the positive message as much as possible, the benefit I have is that my social identity through twitter reminds me of my positive events, the achievements I never believed I would have. The days where I have achieved something and made a real difference. The last few weeks have been testing to say the least but what I can take from that is how I have continued to make more and more achievements, increasing my opportunities and development tenfold.

This evening I take my step into true independence, I was halfway there but needed a nudge to make the full jump – I have to leave Somerset behind for a minimum of a month. I have to take the step to balance my own psychological & physical needs as a priority and I cannot do that without a level of separation – I need to not have the distractions that are based there, I need to take time to grieve the losses I have had this year and to overcome recent challenges. I began this step today in an effort to nurture myself and prioritise self care. It turns out that my first plane journey since I was about 6 years old, taught me the true meaning of putting your own oxygen mask on first.

Some personal and some voluntary roles I am taking a short break from (particularly those in the South West). This also means no more photos of my best friend #PoppyDog as I have had to leave her in Somerset for the time being. 

I will always want to make a difference, and this will continue – I hold onto my social identity as portrayed by twitter as it reminds me of the changes I have made as an individual, the memories and the continuous progress. One of my proudest moments this year being, the utter privilege to speak at the HCA Forum in March – seeing just how much of a role there is to improve young adult experience. But also looking at my standing – I stood to give that presentation. This is the first time I have ever managed to deliver a presentation in standing and seeing that photo make me proud – beyond proud. It is an example of the hours that I have had to put into my continuing neuro rehabilitation. The aspects that get me there may not always be shown the photos shown of #NHS1000miles potentially don’t show, the grazed knees, the crawling I still use to navigate the rough terrain on cliffs, the bumshuffling to get down 100s of steps nor the handhold/catching I still need at certain points. I know the effort it takes for me to get there and that is the story I hold in my heart as a reminder, but my social identity that I created via twitter is there for me to remember and celebrate with you the achievements whilst I take time to reflect on the harder moments.

 The moment that will further carve my social identity links to this very special week of #NHS70, it’s a special and means more a lot to me. I am invited for the NHS70 Westminster Abbey service that I am beyond privileged to be able to attend. I am putting in place protective factors, but this upcoming day is special – it is a pinnacle moment for me – something that in months and years to come I can look back at as is stored in my social identity. The identity I feel privileged to share with you.