Tag: #communication

Reigniting a fight for change

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It has been seven years since I last wrote a blog. I’ve meant to reflect on my journey as a newly qualified nurse for some time. Every time I started, it just didn’t feel right – there was a pressure to enter this chapter as a perfect version of me, with no vulnerabilities or previous motivations exposed. I wanted a fresh start, no expectations, no preconceptions.

I tried to keep my head down, but my values for patient advocacy keep creeping up and seeping out. Over a year in, I feel energised to fight for quality, for improvements, development and to celebrate excellence, prioritising patient care and staff wellbeing.

My platform as a young person improving health care services was incredible and I achieved so much. Sometimes widespread policy change feels easier to achieve than being on the ground trying to show your face above the precipice. Change is slow and much more difficult.

This is my pledge to continue to harness the energised committed kind health care professionals we have and look after them.

To keep advocating for staff and patients.

“I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples.” -Mother Teresa

NHS Volunteering at Expo

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Yesterday was Health and Care Innovation Expo – a wonderful opportunity to be amongst others who want to utilise innovation, good practice and technology to improve experiences for service users and to ensure sustainability for the NHS.

YSA planning ExpoUntil the end of the day, I didn’t have much chance to sit down and reflect, record or think about next steps. When I did get those few moments of time, I realised (a) that there were so many useful conversation and learning opportunities, and (b) that when you sit down, you realise that Expo is tiring, and you must have walked further than you realised!

The project I am currently working on, as a Youth Social Advisor for NHS England, aims to improve the quantity and quality of youth volunteering in the NHS. We, as people who regularly volunteer, have truly recognised the invaluable positive impact that it can have on ourselves as individuals and on others. Today re-emphasised, just how many other positive impacts it can have. It isn’t just the volunteer that reaps the rewards, it can also be the patient, the family, the health care professionals, management teams, the future NHS workforce (the list continues….). There really are far wider impacts that volunteering roles can have. As we move towards long term planning and sustainability for the NHS, it really does seem vital that young people can volunteer.

To aim for a long-term plan, the future generation of professionals need to have opportunities to gain insight from the NHS, to develop skills and strategies. To experience a positive journey as a volunteer. These aspects may shape their choice for future career prospects and may ultimately lead to an informed and empowered NHS workforce in the near future.

 

Mothering Sunday is more than 1 day, but an opportunity to express just how much she means to me…

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Whilst I acknowledge that every day it is important to appreciate those around you every single day, I believe it is special to have a dedicated ‘Mothers Day.’ I don’t believe that it requires any lavish gifts but I think for my mother it offers an opportunity for her to remember how valued she is, and not under-estimate how much my sister and I care about her. Those who know me, will know I am grateful for a lot, I view most endeavors as a fantastic opportunity and learning curve and will readily offer a thank you accompanied by a handshake or hug. Despite my ability to thank people, I am very similar to my mother in the way I avoid expressing sentiment…. I am the person who won’t buy a card if it has a soppy message in. The exposure of sentimental raw emotion is something I am not familiar with expressing verbally as much as I try. My friends and family know that a verbal compliment from me is high praise indeed. Mum and I - Lyme

Today is the day my mother will finally get that true appreciation, but through these written words as once again I back out of saying it to her.

The teenage version of me was polar opposite to how I am today, from naturally being a stubborn defiant teenager alongside struggling with my mental health and physical health – my relationship with everybody wasn’t straightforward. My mum stood by me and was my carer but that doesn’t mean she had it easy by any means – really didn’t. Being my carer was not easy, it meant altering her entire life and entering new territory for us both, whilst in reflection we would never change her involvement, I now realise, I definitely didn’t appreciate it at the same level as I do now.

As a young adult, I am fully aware that I don’t just share aesthetic features with my mother but I have so many similar traits and hold the same life values and beliefs. Together we are those people who have the ability to know what the other is thinking, we will turn around, simultaneously saying the exact same words. We thrive in each others company and can work alongside each other with no problems at all. We never argue as one of us will admit we are grumpy before we say something we regret and if the odd occasion occurs where we have very different opinions, we explore it and debate those  interesting views and perceptions.

When I celebrated mothers day with her a day early (yesterday), she presented me with a very special cuddly toy. I have had a tough few weeks and she knew this, so she bought me up the same toy that she bought for me when I was on a pain management course in Bath as a teenager. We were staying in flats associated with the hospital and I had refused to goWinnie out with her and I think it would be safe to say that I may not have been as polite or diplomatic as I  have learnt to be. Despite being hurt and upset she went to the Disney store and purchased me ‘Winnie the Pooh.’ I love to feel different textures so to receive him yesterday is just one example of her thoughtfulness and how well she knows me.

This last year I can truly say has been hard – it is nearly a year since I embarked on the 8 month admission that altered my life. To have an unexpected emergency admission into a London hospital was something my mother had always feared, but we had never anticipated the severity of it. To be miles away from me unable to see me but knowing I was so unwell was heartbreaking, even when I was repatriated to Reading or in neurorehab, it was still over 100 miles to get to me. It was tough for her to step back and not see me very often but during these 8 months we reestablished the amazing relationship we were destined to have. I became an independent Young Adult that happens to be her Daughter, and she became my mother rather than my carer. I still have times where I need a little help (somehow haven’t quite learnt to fit housework in yet – but it is likely that I conveniently accept her help on that one). She is always there when I need her and we have mutual respect and love for each other. The mother-daughter relationship we have is so very special and holds memories neither of  us will ever forget. These are good and bad, some have humour only we understand. Having to persevere and fight for every part of my care and treatment has strengthened our relationship and whilst I may struggle to open up and explain if I am upset, I undoubtedly know that she is there and will drop everything to be by my side whenever possible. I couldn’t ask for anything more from her.

The last year has contained numerous ups and downs for both of us, including a number of close bereavements and we therefore strive to continue to be open and honest, to do those things that mean something to us and to make memories every single day. My mum may always naturally worry about me, but is incredibly special to me and never stops me from living the life I want to lead. To grow up learning from her as my role model gives me phenomenal strength and determination that I vow to always utilise in my life. I will never forget the first time she saw me speak at an event and just how much pride she held.

Mum – thank you for being the rock that you are, never forget your value and lets continue to share  the rest of 2018 (and many more years) together, making those memories as a family unit and never holding regrets. We both have so much to give to the world and I consider it an honour to be able to call you my mother (as well as my partner in crime).

We are all human…

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Before I start, this blog is in no way a reflection of a specific trust or ward – it has been created from my personal experiences, but I intend to keep it general and all of it is my personal opinion, it is not linked to any specific affiliations I have with organisations. All names have been changed to protect confidentiality.

 

I so often write and document about the patient experience but what I want to do today is to acknowledge the staff perspective.

I remember arriving on a ward where I was greeted, and they wanted to know how to transfer me between beds. Nurse Sarah stood there and asked me about if I could shuffle or use the pat slide – I made a sarcastic comment that would have been quite funny for those who knew me but it lacked appropriate timing. It was clear it wasn’t the best timing and I realized that it had been taken the wrong way so apologized immediately – we spoke again afterwards, and it made sense (she was doing my nurse a favour and so hadn’t had handover as to what was wrong.

 

Nurse Sarah was on shift the next night as well, and as soon as I saw her I once again expressed my apologies and it was all forgotten. This communication was so important – we understood each other.  It was a very tough shift for the staff, but as patients we often are only aware of what is occurring in close proximity to us. Sometimes we need to take a step back and realise there is more going on than what we think.  We may hear noise or abuse but other than that, have no idea what is happening in other bays or behind closed doors.

I witnessed such a heartfelt moment and it really resonated with me the journey that staff have to go through. I know that when I show familiar staff my progress, the pride they feel can be overwhelming, they too share my success – we all have participated in the journey together.  Mine is a good story, many a time I have shared the highs and lows with staff, but others stories aren’t as positive.

When people are on end of life care, the staff are equally involved – it can be tough. It doesn’t matter how long or well you know someone, witnessing the family grieve or being the last person to sit and hold someone’s hand can be hard. I have witnessed this happen numerous times and find it hard as a patient, but when it isn’t happening in front of you, we still expect staff to carry as if nothing has happened.  They may be in a professional capacity, it doesn’t make them mechanical or indestructible, even those with the toughest of exteriors still feel emotions and need to take two minutes to digest what has happened.

 

I became aware of the deceased as heard the family grieving, it is always tough to hear and see – and it wasn’t easy for the staff either, the night was chaotic and filled with other noise and other pressing issues. Yet those nurses kept going. Sarah wasn’t my nurse but when she was continuously working non-stop and I could tell she was trying to keep going. The pressure and circumstances she was under was tough – it was not a good shift for any staff. I sat up and spoke to her as she passed me, I paused, held her hand and gave her a small bit of comfort whilst she started to shed a tear. She apologized that she was emotional and said ‘I should be comforting you, not you helping me.’ Now, for me, I would offer that to anyone – we all need that reassuring pat and those 2 minutes to pause and recalibrate.

We didn’t talk about the other patients, instead all we did was be present and feel those emotions –words aren’t needed. When something isn’t going right, it isn’t always that persons fault… sometimes we need to empathise with the work they are doing.

We are all human, we can all accidentally say the wrong thing and can all feel emotions. Next time, try and look at the situation from all perspectives – never forget that other things are happening around us.